Date of Submission

Spring 2024

Academic Program

Photography

Project Advisor 1

Tanya Marcuse

Project Advisor 2

An-My Lê

Abstract/Artist's Statement

I have no episodic experiences. The images of my life exist only in the material: the reflection of the mirror and the index of the photograph. The immaterial memory-image evades my conscious state, but within the subconscious liminal space between dream and waking, I experience a brief and fleeting image – an image vanished by my opening eyes.

Around my twentieth birthday, I stumbled on a paper detailing a “condition” of imagination: one that illuminated the experiences of individuals who could not visualize images in their minds. I learned the name for this phenomenon was aphantasia: a neurological experience in which individuals do not have a working visual memory or imagination. The term was coined by neurologist Adam Zeman in 2015. By extension, some of these individuals, like myself, may also experience severely deficient autobiographical memory (SDAM) which is the lifelong inability to vividly recall past personal experiences.

After obsessively digging through articles and videos on the topic I realized I am one of these individuals who navigate the world through this different lens. This difference compelled me to believe that something was lacking in my identity. Thus, a ceaseless process of creating images, whether still or video, became a means of validating my experiences; a primary source that I could draw upon to recall my past.

“I Stand With the Wind on My Face” is a body of work that represents my experience of coming to terms with my memory and accepting its faults: what was once a search for answers has now become an acceptance of questions. Making this project has allowed me to live in the present moment more acutely as it is all I have, and thus enjoy each moment as if it were my last.

Open Access Agreement

On-Campus only

Creative Commons License

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 4.0 License.

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