Date of Submission

Spring 2021

Academic Program

Film and Electronic Arts

Project Advisor 1

Sayeeda Moreno

Abstract/Artist's Statement

Art works to transmit, and it permits the transmissions between the unlikely and unanticipated interaction of multiple minds, narratives, and conscious’. As an observer, we enter the transmission.

The production of my thesis has been an exothermic process, all that I was exploring collapsed on top of itself, it crushed me. I felt like I was steaming all winter. Nothing was as individual as I had intended, it could not be compartmentalized or separated into parts. I had to collect the pieces that had scattered, they were hot and heavy with feeling, not so rooted in the past or future as I had expected. They were present, in the making, in the imagining and after the fact, for myself and my characters, and my family. An effect I thought would be something, I would have to construct myself, but in fact it was the natural state of things, no alterations necessary. It was raw, it was feral, it was tender.

With this project I wanted to attempt meshing multiple realities of perception, developing a narrative focused on the collective perspective of the dynamics of mother and child, more specifically the unveiling process which staggers between white parent and mixed child. Allowing the production of this piece to function as an exploratory mechanism, in which I sought to reposition myself within the concentric gear of my personal memories, delving into the processes of self-reflexivity and the evolution of feelings towards my own proximity to whiteness. In my execution, I considered how working with multiple mediums would induce this feeling. 3D animation and 2D rotoscoping played an especially significant role, as it physically placed my gaze and imprint into the film. While the camera worked as an axis to simulate the textures of time felt within this world.

By fictionalizing the relationship between my mother and hers, I wanted to examine the spaces and distance one travels, navigating, blindfolded to reach the other end. How the different tonalities of longing are desires masked to be thick and sticky, a stagnant trap. Anita’s character is at the edge when the viewer is first introduced to her. She chooses to let her memories pass her by, wary of their transmissions and where they might take her. Until her unexpected encounter with Ruby, a character derived/inspired from the Chinese folklore story of the Moon or Jade Rabbit. Ruby is traveling along the thread of mutual desire connecting Anita and her daughter, with the intention of keeping their visit discreet. However, upon their accidental contact, a chiasma in their perception erupts out of the experience of this encounter, and the possibilities of their interaction unravel and peel away at the portals of time, spirit, and mind. Ruby’s character plays a pivotal role in this aspect, as they possesses the ability to induce reflexivity in Anita’s persona despite the physical distance that had been enabling her dismissal of this potential catharsis.

The language of poetry is something ever so fleeting; it lives in the present while recalling emotions of the past, however distant or recent, and the articulation lingers with us into tomorrow. It takes form in our present plane of time, but then disseminates, as if melting, into our parallel pasts and futures to come. This film is about the possibility of recollection, that experience of time travel, allowing yourself to presently balance one foot on either plane. The anxiety that swells and stirs in the belly of your mind when tempted to let yourself slip backwards, into the spaces, the odors, the melodies stored in your memory cabinet— an intoxicating experience, to fall out of time for a moment.

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