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Project Advisor 1
Project Advisor 2
In the shadows and folds is the result of a mental scavenger hunt that I began this past year, to uncover myself and find what is hidden in my crevices. It was spurred by my fear of memory loss which had grown to such a size that it sat visible in the back of my mind unaddressed for some time. The reason for this fear is not large but it feels monumental. I have been existing in various states of sadness and disconnect, which have acted like a thick blanket over my mind. This blanket is simultaneously protective and damaging, obscuring parts of the past both distant and recent. Without these points of reference I have felt a distancing from myself. I’ve been left wondering what I feel like.
In the hopes of rediscovering my personhood I began to search for pieces within memories. Not fully trusting myself to accurately recall moments, I focused on what was nostalgic and rooted in emotion. Each piece is a collection of moments and feelings revolving around a specific memory or frame of thought. Like a puzzle, they fit together physically and ideologically, contributing pieces to the larger framework which is the memory of a personality. Found fabrics, stenciled text and playful imagery aim to capture these fleeting memories and feelings.
Putting this project together has brought up questions. How do we cope with things that we do not fully understand? What does it feel like to grieve the memory of something you cannot remember (to grieve memory itself)? Where do we find ourselves after being immersed in both the present and past psyche? Have we learned anything valuable or are we even more lost? Finding clear-cut answers to these questions is difficult and not the goal of this project. While painful, the opportunity to commemorate these moments has allowed me to process, grieve and laugh at the reality of my current state. The hope that it would resonate on some level with others has allowed me to open myself.
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Mueller, Julia, "In the shadows and folds" (2020). Senior Projects Spring 2020. 340.
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