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I am a window to myself. Like a prism pierced by light, I divide the entirety of myself through the physicality of my body. What is perceived, touched and transcended by my body is what is received, digested, transformed then expressed through my body.
I am Color, Texture and Form; I am Feeling and Body; I am Spirit and Soul; seemingly separate, yet divinely interconnected realms of being--vibrating, pushing and pulling at each other in a vital desire for unity, humanity, synthesis and integration.
Out from the humming discourse of these rich realms of selfhood and oneness, Thinking, glimmering with ideas, vision and imagination, blooms forth into thriving Inspiration.
This Inspiration gives birth to Will, who with tender determination and enduring grace, creates, initiates, does and makes; pressing Self into being.
All of my layers swell and breathe, searching for harmony and balance.
I am a window, whose purpose is inherent, integral, innate. Fragile impressions of the world and the cosmos seep into my layers, forcing the fibers of my wholeness to germinate and emerge into authentic form and purpose.
Over time; through birth, life and death, renewed and accumulated, my Self becomes an archive of the World, and my body, forever changing and purposeful, becomes the requisite repository for expressing my unique humanity.
The Essences of the World pour into my Senses and whisper their Truths to my Spirit and Soul. The Truths are received, felt and fueled by my attentive and present body. Newly transformed, they permeate the World with My Life and My Truth.
I am a vessel from which the world’s consciousness breathes, incubates and births. I absorb all that absorbs me and together, we unify. The absorbing and I become Lucien Dante Lazar and thus, I/He/We become(s) Life. Through this understanding of myself, everything is a self-portrait.
Over the course of the past several months, I have endeavored to articulate some of the core realities, meanings and motivations behind myself as an artist. I have come to the clear realization that I can best understand the world through engaging with myself.
I chose Shining Gargoyle as the name of my senior project exhibition because of its relationship to my name. Lucien Lazar means Shining Gargoyle, and as each creation in the exhibition is a self-portrait, I wanted the title of this exhibition of me to be a self-portrait in words.
My creations are flashes of inspiration—momentary, transitory, but also final and complete manifestations of the myriad multidimensional realms of my entirety. They are products of my spirit and soul, visions, imaginations, insights and intuitions passing through my body and acquiring substance, color, texture and form.
Because my creations arise out of my Spirit and my Soul (both of which are reservoirs of my consciousness) yet do not have the moving will and protection that my mind has over body, they are vulnerable in their color, texture and form, but powerful in their established certainty. They are unchanging in themselves and have the capacity to only be that way. Their vitality is sparked and bursts into being through their engagement with other living, conscious beings—YOU, the viewer, experiencer, appreciator (Thank you!).
In my exhibition, Shining Gargoyle, you will find a wide variety of mediums, colors, expressions and variations in scale. Each piece reveals new perspectives to catch another glimpse of my innermost self. From gregariously pulsating wool tapestries bursting with color and texture, to monochrome sculpted clay heads, to quiet and tranquil paintings that vibrate the atmosphere around them with their poised mystery, Shining Gargoyle presents the riddle that is ME. It endeavors to describe, articulate and present my own visual exploration of my emergence from my childhood--an imagination of triumphant sifting through expression of the accumulated pain, joy, wisdom and growth of a twenty one year old boy/man— ME!
Thank you for joining me on my journey of self-exploration and discovery.
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Lazar, Lucien Dante, "Shining Gargoyle" (2015). Senior Projects Fall 2015. 62.
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